The statistics nationwide show something fascinating. The most dangerous place for a woman to be in America is in a relationship.
That’s right. The old mantra that “love hurts” is true.
According to the Violence Policy Center’s 2012 report entitled American roulette: Murder-suicides in the United States, 72% of all murder suicides are domestic violence. Even more shocking, 94% of the victims of these crimes are women.
That’s right. 94% of homicide victims are women killed by domestic partners, i.e. husbands, boyfriends, lovers.
How is this possible?
Sociologists and researchers struggle with this question.
Data shows men kill women at a rate far higher than a women kill men because men are more violent, but it’s more than that.
Consider this: Among those who self-identify as being in open relationships, often termed polyamory – in other words both partners are able to have affairs with lovers – the rate of domestic violence drops sharply.
About 12 million Americans are engaged in open relationships. Among this population, divorce is 1/3 the rate as among those in monogamous relationships. Incidences of domestic violence are drastically lower than in monogamous relationships, in some case 1/4 the rate of violence among monogamists.
At its core, polyamory is a rejection of monogamy. Monogamy is viewed by polyamorists as a holdover from the primitive patriarchy inherent in Abrahamic religions. This “thou shalt not commit adultery” dogma has preached for four millennia that women are the property of men.
Even in these more liberal times, the notion that a woman belongs to her man and a man belongs to his woman is at the root of domestic violence.
The concept of “cheating” is widespread in America, and is portrayed in media as a justification for violence. Songs, books, movies, TV shows are all based upon the drama which erupts when someone is caught “cheating.” Ironically, women embrace this concept, despite the fact that this construct results in women being the victims in 94% of all homicides.
Research shows men buy into this patriarchy. This machismo is at the root of male rage. Most male rage expressed towards women is rooted in an overarching insecurity and shame. When a woman “cheats” on her man, that man is emasculated, overwhelmed by shame that he wasn’t man enough to keep her. Violence erupts.
Polyamory rejects the concept of ownership and possessiveness and removes all justification for jealousy.
This is a major shift in thinking.
Sociologists are studying this phenomena. To date, the research is mixed, but there are clear signs that eliminating the concept of monogamy is step one in lowering the rate of domestic violence in America.
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